Friday, December 09, 2016

An Inconvenient Lunch

"Good afternoon, Donald."
"Good afternoon, Albert."
"I want to thank Ivanka for bringing us together like this."
"Yeah. She's something, isn't she?"
"Uh, Yes. Something."
"You know. Heh? Huh?"
"So, Donald. I'm interested in hearing about your plans moving forward for our shared home, this planet of ours."
"Scuse me?"
"Mother earth. Terra Firma. The Big Blue Marble."
"Oh. That."
"I was wondering about some of the comments you were making during the campaign."
"Which were those?"
"The ones where you referred to global warming as, and I may be paraphrasing here, a hoax."
"Oh, yeah. That was a good one. I think my actual tweet went something like this: 'Ice storm rolls from Texas to Tennessee - I'm in Los Angeles and it's freezing. Global warming is a total, and very expensive, hoax!'"
"An expensive hoax."
"Yeah. Great, huh?"
"Maybe what you meant was that it would be very expensive if not impossible to turn our backs on such a horrible catastrophe?"
"What's that?"

"Global warming."
"Al, have you looked outside lately? I don't see any of my ice sculptures melting."
"Donald, are suggesting that all these scientists are wrong?"
"Science? What's that got to do with it?"
"You're kidding now, right?"
"Like considering making Senator Joe Manchin for secretary of energy."
"Heh. I love that name. Manchin. And he's from West Virginia."
"A big supporter of coal."
"I know! Isn't that great?"
"Well, Donald. This has been very interesting, but I really must be going."
"So soon? Well, do stop by anytime you're in the neighborhood." 
"Sure. Ivanka - can you validate my parking?"

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