Top Ten

The Top Ten Pieces of Art for All Time was just announced by Art Snobs Magazine. Knocking the Sistine Chapel ceiling off the number one pedestal was the people's favorite, "Mona Lisa." Rounding out the top five were Edvard Munch's "Scream," Michelangelo's "David," and Van Gogh's dorm-room fave "Starry Night." Art Snob editor in chief, Blisterly Fitternutz, had this to say about the shift: "We believe that just because a guy lays on his back and paints the roof of a church doesn't make it best. Everybody knows Leonardo rules!" There was no explanation for how Michelangelo managed to sneak two works into the top ten if he was such a slacker. The next five works were Jackson Pollock's "Number Eight" at number six, then Monet's "Water Lilies," Picasso's "Young Woman In Front Of A Mirror," Renoir's "Moulin-Galette," and at number ten: A wall in a subway station Keith Haring once painted on. Mister Fitternutz explained, "We put some French guys on the list to show how sensitive we are, and the subway thing was pretty cool too, don't you think?
Actually, Mister Fitternutz is a figment of my imagination. He came about as a response to the editors of "Sight & Sound" magazine who just released their "Greatest Films of All Time" list. In their world, "Citizen Kane" was displaced by "Vertigo." Film snob Nick James asserted, "Vertigo is the ultimate critics' film because it is a dreamlike film about people who are not sure who they are but who are busy reconstructing themselves and each other to fit a kind of cinema ideal of the ideal soul mate." And "Citizen Kane" is just some movie about a sled. Ooops. Sorry. Spoiler alert.
If I agreed with the folks at "Sight & Sound" more, would I be writing this? I have no real beef with people stating their preferences. That is what art is all about. It is by nature subjective. That's why giving four stars or three hats to this or that movie while another one gets just the half bag of popcorn seems to be overlooking this. What makes a film or painting or macaroni collage special and unique is the interaction at the moment between the art and its beholder. Unless the pasta in question was manipulated by Martin Scorsese. Then it's a masterpiece.