Thursday, December 15, 2011

Omniclaus

You had better watch out. You better not cry. You had better not pout. I'm telling you why: Christmas is a time for abject paranoia. If you were looking to find a way out of that late-summer dust-up you had with your little brother that ended up breaking the mirror at the end of the hallway, now would be the time to do it. There are plenty of kids who are attempting to reconcile their behavior accounts just before the end of the calendar year in hopes that Santa Claus will check that list a third or even fourth time before loading up this year. But here's the rub: He knows who is naughty. He knows who is nice. So you had better be good, and not just for toys, for goodness' sake.
No pressure, right? Well if you're one of those last minute kind of people who wait until it's almost too late, the third week of December just may be too late. This is not strictly a kid issue, either. There are a lot of adults who are hoping that, in order to subsidize the generosity of Santa and his elves, a Christmas bonus may be in the offing. Choosing December to ratchet up productivity that had barely registered in the previous eleven months probably won't have the effect they had anticipated. After all, he knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you forgot to turn in the quarterly report for your section.
If you happen to be, young or old, in one of these untenable situations, you can surrender to the reality. Or you can start planning for next year. Unless we can get Santa to start recognizing the fiscal year as the measure of the quality of your character, or the amount of coal in your stocking.

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