How Money Works

As we have established here numerous times, Soylent Green is people. That being known, we can now conjecture about corporations. Are they people? Mitt Romney believes that they are. It does help if there is a recognizable face for that corporation, like Steve Jobs at Apple or Dick "Dick" Cheney at Halliburton. Having someone alive in that position is even better, as evidenced by Mister Jobs' enduring contributions. We all miss "Dick" terribly, of course.
McDonald's is a clown, Marlboro is a burly cowboy and Heinz Ketchup is John Kerry. Why should we expect any more from these people than we do from ourselves? Possibly because corporations have many more faces and names than would fit on your average letterhead. These are called "investors." These "investors" are people too. They give money to corporations so that they can turn it into more money. That's how the stock market works. Or at least that's what I remember from the ABC Saturday morning show, "Capitalism Rock." People buy stock in a company that they believe will make more money, and when that company makes even more money, they share it with the people who were clever enough to buy stock in the first place. We call this "redistributing wealth."
The members of Congress are people, too. They can buy stock and benefit from the money that seems to be just oozing out of the sidewalks in lower Manhattan. One of the things that really helps when you're a person who wants to buy stock is knowing ahead of time what corporations are thinking. Let's say, for example, you knew that there was a readily available supply of protein available to the Soylent Corporation who was looking to expand their food wafer line. If you knew ahead of time that grinding up corpses of the poor and disenfranchised could be marketed as a a healthy algae-based food source, you might look into purchasing a few thousand shares. If you were Speaker of the House, and you were about to vote to kill the public option for health care, you might want to grab some of that insurance company stock. Or if you were involved in major legislation affecting the credit card companies, your husband might want to participate in a very large IPO deal from Visa. That's what John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi, respectively, did. They are very clever people. So are the people at Visa and the Health Insurance companies. I just can't recall their names right now.