Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Value Menu

It makes sense that the former CEO of a fast food franchise would come up with something as eminently simple as his "9-9-9" tax plan. It's like those deals on pizza where you can get any three medium pizzas for just five dollars. No. It's simpler than that, because three and five are different. Nine, nine, nine are all the same. It's so simple even a child could understand it. Perhaps this is why the American public is suddenly fascinated by it.
You have your corporate tax rate: nine percent. You have your personal tax rate: nine percent. You have your national sales tax: nine percent. It's like going to your local Subway franchise during the month of Anytober and getting a foot-long sub for just five dollars. Any foot-long sub. You read that right. We can only assume that under Herman Cain's administration Anytober would be every month, and you could get your twelve inches of delicious sub sandwich on your choice of bread for the low, low price of just five dollars. But what if you want extra cheese? What if you've got a coupon that says you can get a foot-long Meatball Marinara for just three dollars and fifty cents? Can I still get the meal deal if I switch my chips for a cookie?
Which brings us back to Herman's tax plan. What if you're a corporation and you decide that you want an eight and a half percent corporate tax rate because, after all, you're a job creator and everyone else needs you to stimulate the economy so how about just this one time can we see a little flexibility on that nine percent? Since the idea seems to have originated from a video game, why not just type in that cheat code and get started? What if I've got a coupon?
A simpler tax structure would allow our leaders to focus on more important matters such as national security and the war on terror. And opening up new franchises in Iraq and Afghanistan.

1 comment:

Mrs. Id said...

Now I get it!

We should try Cain's tax structure. NOW! For ONE YEAR ONLY!