Sunday, October 30, 2011

Michael Moore's Address To The Occupy Oakland Protesters

I want you folks to remember that no bastard ever won a demonstration by getting hit in the head for his cause. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard get hit in the head for his cause. All this stuff you’ve heard about the ninety-nine percent not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of jail, is a lot of horse hockey. Americans love to demonstrate. All real Americans love the stink and clash of sleeping out in a park. When you were kids, you all admired the sit-ins, the thinnest member of the hunger strike, the big league hippies, and the highest -grossing documentary film makers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to a tie all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in heck for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a non-violent demonstration. The very thought of losing is hateful to Americans. An occupying non-violent cooperative is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, and fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of hooey. The ninnies who write that silly stuff about individuality for the Utne Reader, don’t know any more about real protest than they do about hydroponic gardening. We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men, women and children in the world. I pity those poor authority-types we’re going up against. We’re not just going to sit here, we’re going to mess up their parks and public plazas and use them as our personal waste stations. We’re going to annoy those lousy one-percenters by the bushel basket. Some of you are wondering whether or not you’ll chicken out under fire. Don’t worry about it. I can assure you from my office in Los Angeles that you’ll all do your full duty. The Man is the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their Jamba Juice. Tip over thier garbage cans. When you put your hand into a bunch of poo, that a moment before was in your best friend, you’ll know what to do. There’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying we’re advancing constantly. We’re holding our position, and we’re not interested in advancing onto anything except the next patch of dead grass. We’re going to hold onto ourselves and we're going to hug each other. We’re going to hug each other all the time. We’re going to sit here like geese. There’s one thing you folks will be able to say when you get back home, and you may be thankful for it. Thirty years from now, when you’re sitting around your fireside, with your grandson on your knee, and he asks, “What did you do in the great Occupy Wall Street Demonstration?” You won’t have to say, “Well, I watched it on TV.” Alright, you sons of factory workers, you know how I feel. I’ll be proud to lead you wonderful guys into non-violent demonstration anywhere, anytime, but right now I'm late for a taping of Bill Maher's show. Oh, and don't forget that "Capitalism: A Love Story" is available on Blu-Ray and DVD from Amazon.

1 comment:

Krs10 said...

Are you sure it's Michael Moore and not General Patton?