Saturday, June 18, 2011


It's June, and that means it's wedding season. Love is in the air, along with a number of different pollens and molds that are creating a variety of allergic reactions. Maybe that explains how Hugh Hefner's third marriage fell apart before the happy couple ever reached the altar. What else could it be?
It would be cynical to suggest that the sixty year age difference between the bride and groom had anything to do with it. To be clear, the founder of Playboy magazine and assorted entertainment enterprises is the elder. Otherwise that would mean he would be marrying a one hundred and forty-five year old hag. Sometime in the past week or so, the bride had second thoughts. Could it be that the three generations that separate them had some mild effect on the decision to carry on with the nuptials? That would just be age-ism, wouldn't it?
And so we are stuck with a number of other possibilities. It could be that, as an employee of Mister Hefner's, Miss Crystal Harris felt that mixing business with pleasure would be unseemly. This does put Hef in a bit of bind, since he had already sold the rights to video highlights of the ceremony to the Lifetime cable network. Alas, we will now probably be stuck with reruns of "The Girls Next Door."
A depressed Hef announced that his heart had been broken still further when Miss Harris moved out and took his cocker spaniel with her. Feel free at this time to spend the rest of the summer composing the joke that most effectively uses those facts.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Was the word "hag" necessary? It bothered me when I first read it. No big deal, but it's a mean word, and it lacked contextual purpose, unless I missed something. Are all old women hags or just the type of woman who would marry the Heff? Are there young hags? Was his intended a young hag? That might make sense. Anyway, Happy Dad's day.

Are all old men "farts"?