Sunday, June 12, 2011


I have a friend, and constant reader, who is just a little put off by the state of Alaska. She feels that releasing Sarah Palin's e-mails constitute infringement on her hobby: printing out the Internet. I should mention that she is planning on using a very small font, and going double-sided on this project, but it will take some time and use considerable resources. This was never more apparent than when the dollies were rolled out with case after case of paper containing the Wit and Wisdom of Sarah Palin, the Juneau Years. Twenty-four thousand, one hundred and ninety-nine pages. Two hundred and sixty pounds. Perhaps the time and cost it took for such an undertaking is what took Alaska such a long time to get to work on this process, at three cents a page.
But it was totally worth it. Now you can catch up with all those years when Sarah's light was a faint beacon shining in the tundra. You can even be a cub reporter for the Washington Post, who is enlisting your help reading all these earth-shaking missives. Included are such hits as, "What areas can be looked at to veto out of operating budget? Were there big adds by loggies in it?" Or how about this one that came to her: "You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access - No Charge." Yes, you even get to read Sarah's spam.
And so, days later, what have we learned? Well, there's no naked pictures of Anthony Weiner here, and no stunning revelations about her plans for world domination. And with that mountain of what we can only hope was recycled paper, I can only come up with one thought: Thank God she quit when she did.

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