Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Resume

Tony Hayward

821 Cushie St.

Sevenoaks, Kent

(401) 555 - 0293

Objective

A challenging and rewarding position as a Highly Paid Executive.

Summary of Achievements

• member of the Citibank advisory board, from 2000 to 2003,coordinated accounts for several multi-national corporations

• senior independent non-executive director of Corus Group

• Dinner/Dance Captain, Lloyd's Yacht Club

• Strong background in sales, marketing, lying, cheating and stealing

Experience

Creating value for shareholders

Taking care of the world

Managed deposits of over oil across the globe, many of which can be found deep underwater, and some very near the surface

Ecological Criminal

Cribbage Champion, Lloyd's Yacht Club

Controlled fourth largest company on the planet, appeared before U.S. Congress, said as little as possible, destroyed several ecosystems, ran up a bill of 2.6 billion dollars to clean up the mess we made, Consistently snappy dresser

Education

Geology degree, Aston University, Birmingham

PhD, Corporate Brown-Nosing, University of Edinburgh

Golf Management, University of Birmingham/Florida Gulf Coast University

"I just want my life back."

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