Saturday, June 05, 2010

Happy Meal

When I was a kid, there were no "kids' meals" at McDonalds, and I was happy with that. It was understood that you could order small, medium or large drinks, and way back then there were no quarter pounders or Big Macs, so your choice of sandwiches were pretty limited. You got a hamburger, cheeseburger or a daringly unique Filet-O-Fish. Since the fries came in one size as well, if you wanted more, you ordered them. The relative "value" and "Happiness" of a meal at McDonalds stemmed from one's ability to carry the food to a car where it could be eaten on the way home, or at home if you made it that far.
When the menu began to change, so did the promotions. That's when souvenir glasses started to show up, with all the McDonaldland characters. You could order a large drink or a shake and they would pour it right into one of those collector's items, back in the olden days. That stopped rather abruptly when sanitary concerns were raised. You had to buy the glass and the drink separately, and while you found your way to your newly appointed dining area just steps from the counter, you could put your favorite beverage inside Grimus, Captain Crook, or even Ronald himself.
Eventually, McDonalds began to search outside of their own mythos to gather synergy with other entertainment icons: tie-ins with popular characters who lived outside of the realm of Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar. I was witness to the late-seventies birth of fast-food cross promotion. I have waxed on at times about my experiences marketing Arby's "Holly Days" glassware. I used to tell people that the "real gold" they used on the rim of each glass would make them legal tender in the event of a nuclear war. I had to tell them something, since they never sold the way our series featuring the characters from the B.C. comic strip did. I still have one in my cupboard with the Anteater on it.
That was all twenty, thirty years ago. Now McDonalds has figures out how to make their glasses instantly collectible: announce a recall. The new Shrek-themed tumblers contain a certain amount of cadmium in them, less than your standard Hannah Montana bracelet, but still a potential health concern. The fast-food giant is doing the responsible thing and asking for all twelve million glasses that were sold be returned. You can get your two dollar back, just don't drink your Shamrock Shake out of them. Or, you could hold on to them for a few more years, wrapped in plastic and sell them in mint condition on Al Gore's Internet. Or you can wait just a little longer and sell them with your radioactive Fiestaware.

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