Revenge Of The PMRC

This is one of those moments where I feel that I may have lived long enough. Another time I had this feeling came when I found myself standing in the aisle of a grocery store listening to a Muzak version of the Clash's "Train in Vain." I might have been able to laugh it off it would have been "Lost In The Supermarket," but that wasn't the case. I was standing in the frozen food section listening to a song by "the only band that matters."
Then there was the first time I heard Led Zeppelin playing "Rock and Roll" behind a Cadillac commercial, and the intrinsic irony of any Pete Townshend song used to advertise anything, since the Who "Sold Out" way back in 1967. Bruce Springsteen is on the cover of AARP's magazine.
And yes, "The Boss" made a deal with the devil when he decided to distribute a greatest hits package exclusively through Wal-Mart. Always a conscientious friend of the working man, Mister Springsteen suggested that he may have "dropped the ball on it," but stopped short of pulling the album off their shelves. After all, it didn't bother the Eagles, Foreigner, or AC/DC. With all these kids buying their music on "the Internet" these days, Wal-Mart is one of the last brick and mortar chains with a place to sell CDs. You remember them, right?
If you remember them, you might also remember this: "Wal-Mart Stores, Sam's Club and Walmart.com (collectively "Wal-Mart") do not carry recordings designated with the Parental Advisory Label." Okay, so I can imagine that there is a lot of room for "Life In The Fast Lane" and "Hotel California" to squeak by, and even "Hot-Blooded" could probably make the cut, but "Whole Lotta Rosie?" Or "Big Balls?" There was a day, not too long ago, when groups were lining up to keep their music from being sold at Wal-Mart. Now it's just the opposite, and it forms behind none other than those shock-rock pioneers, KISS.
Starting on October 6, Wal-Mart and Sam's Club will offer up a CD of the band's first new music in eleven years, re-recorded versions of famous KISS hits and a live DVD. I wonder if the lyric subtlety of "Christine Sixteen" will be wasted on Wal-Mart shoppers. Maybe they won't notice with all that family-friendly fire-spitting and blood-vomiting. Wet cleanup on aisle nine!