Pitch

This weekend I was watching previews before the movie I was anxiously awaiting: "District 9." I was anxious because I had read that this was a movie that might cause me to think, something that I haven't been encouraged to do much in theaters this summer. And judging from the trailers that I was seeing, I didn't expect to be challenged much this Fall either.
That's when my wife and I began creating our own version of the big-budget hot-weather action movie. It began, as most of these exercises do, with the title: "I Am The Boss Of You." From there, it was an easy hop to casting. Arnold Schwarzenegger will soon be looking for post-gubernatorial work, so why not make this his big comeback vehicle? We envisioned a teaser reel that would start with a battered and bloodied young hunk pulling himself back up to his feet for what must be the last time, sneering through clenched teeth, "You're not the boss of me." Cut to the looming figure of a heavily armed ex-governor of California. In his distinctive accent he growls, "You are mistaken. I am the boss of you." At the sound of the gun in his fist going off, we cut to a black screen, then red titles: "Arnold Schwarzenegger IS the boss of you. Summer 2010."
For those five minutes, I was filled with giddy certainty. It would be so easy to do. Pinch a little from "Terminator," a little from "War of the Worlds," and plenty of things that go boom. It's a proven formula. It would be so easy. Too easy. Like Megan Fox, who described her experience on "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" like this: "I'm in the movie, and I read the script, and I watched the movie, and I still didn't know what was happening." Megan is our target demographic. See you at the movies.