Running On Empty

Sarah Palin, once dubbed the country's "hottest" governor, will soon have to give up that title. Not the "hot" part necessarily, but definitely the "governor" part. Ms. Palin will be celebrating Independence Day by declaring her freedom from the office she took in 2006. She's decided that since she is not running for re-election in Alaska, she wants to avoid "conventional Lame Duck status in this particular climate." As a hunting aficionado, she must certainly be familiar with Lame Ducks.
And so, in the spirit of Lame, we present the "hottest former governor" and her latest ploy to make herself a viable candidate in 2012. She has challenged Barack Obama to a foot race. "I betcha I'd have more endurance," she told Runner's World magazine. She backs up her claim with a sub-four hour time in a marathon in 2005. Not world-class time, but anyone who can run twenty-six miles in four hours is a force to be reckoned with. On the race course.
"When I run, I'm totally incognito because I'm not wearing a trough full of makeup. I can go running through a mob of tourists and they don't recognize me," Palin said. On her iPod, she likes to crank up classic rock n' roll, usually Van Halen and AC/DC, then cools down with a little country music. She wraps up with Amy Grant songs.
Barack Obama, meanwhile, is playing golf or shooting hoops, not ducks. He's probably a little nervous since he still hasn't managed to kick his cigarette habit, and the fact that he's been busy running the country for the past six months. Once she resigns at the end of the month, Sarah's going to have all kinds of time to train.
Maybe Obama could work out a deal where he could get Ms. Palin, Kim Jong Il, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad out to the track this summer and settle things the old-fashioned way. Like DEVO used to sing: "Take all the leaders from around the world, Put them together in a great big ring."
Now that's what I call governance!