Norman, Coordinate

If you are a North Korean spy reading this, could you please help me find the correct encryption key so that I can get my laptop back on the network? South Korea's spies named you as a suspect in the cyber attacks targeting government and other Web sites in the U.S. and South Korea. It's a slim chance that you'll find much of interest here, but if you poke around a little you might find some funny pictures or some insight on the state of public education in the western United States. Sadly, none of this is classified.
But I am serious about that encryption stuff. I spent two hours trying to get myself back online yesterday afternoon. That's what I did with what would have been my "spare time." It made me curious about the nature of the labor-saving potential of a laptop computer and a wireless Internet connection.
Sure, I could imagine myself sitting out on my back deck with a glass of iced tea within easy reach, and the picnic umbrella keeping the glare off my screen. I would type away about the things that found their way into my head, perhaps offering my informed opinion about the affairs of the day. All the while, a cool breeze would blow and birds would sing.
That didn't happen. Over the past few weeks, my laptop had gone feral, after far too many days of being left alone. It wouldn't connect to the Internet, at least not from the comfort of anyplace I would consider comfortable, and when I did manage a connection, it was some unsecured insecure network that I didn't recognize. My vision of lolling around on the back porch went up in a snap of static electricity.
Hours later I had re-established my foothold on the twenty-first century and I was free to roam about my house with a computer the size of my son's World History textbook. By this point, however, I had already started up my clunky old desktop machine and used it to determine the cause of all my network dysfunction. I set the laptop aside and sat down in front of my desk where all of this came pouring out. Maybe once the battery is fully charged again, I'll head for the couch to do a little research for my fantasy football team. I wonder if the North Koreans could use any of that?