It Ends Tonight

Some have called it the end of an era. I'll just say, "Next." The star on the dressing room door is getting new peel-off letters. It will now read, "Mister O'Brien." Jay Leno has rung down the curtain on the second-longest tenure as host of the "Tonight Show." He lasted seventeen years, and here's what I can loudly proclaim: I never watched one night. I confess that I may have peeked in for a moment or two if I knew someone from my interest group was going to show up on the guest list, but for the most part I steered clear.
I made this decision primarily based on my fondness for David Letterman. Long before there was a book or a TV movie, I thought Dave got a raw deal from his previous employers. I was happy to see him hop networks and set up shop in the same time slot as Jay. I still don't understand how the Gods of Showbiz allowed the guy who used to show up periodically on Dave's show with "a beef" would get to jump ahead of him in the big money sweepstakes that was hosting the "Tonight Show." Besides, Johnny always liked Dave better, and so did I.
The other element that played a part in my Leno-abstinence was the fact that when Johnny Carson retired, I moved to California. I turned thirty just one month after Johnny's last show. I packed up my things and headed for the coast. Out here, whichever late night show you watch comes on after the news, and Pacific Time puts that at eleven thirty. Dave and Jay both became casualties of my new time zone and lifestyle. By the time we got Tivo, I had stopped caring so much about talk shows. Now I watch Jon Stewart for my topical humor and occasional Bruce Springsteen appearances.
I like Conan O'Brien. The fact that he honed his comedy chops writing for "The Simpsons" puts him in good company in my Pantheon of Yuks. I don't guess that I'll be staying up late for him either, even though he has the same drummer The Boss does. And I don't expect that having a chance to watch Jay five nights a week at ten o'clock will make me any more of a fan. For me, the "Tonight Show" ended on May 22, 1992. They may have been selling weight-loss supplements on NBC late night for the past seventeen years. Or maybe it was chin implants. No matter. I'm old, and they don't make 'em like they used to and you kids and all your fancy Leno T-shirts can all just hold your horses while I continue to reminisce about the good old days.