Thursday, May 21, 2009

Everything Must Go!

When the smoke cleared, or what little dust that could have been stirred up by seventeen percent of the registered voters, only one of the proposed budget measures won: the one that keeps lawmakers from voting themselves a raise when the state is running in the red. Such is the way of things here in California, where we need to put common sense up to a vote. As for the rest of them, now the real fun begins. We've got to come up with more than twenty-one billion dollars to balance our budget. Or start cutting programs.
But wait! The folks in Sacramento have always shown a willingness to think outside the box, as long as that box is the cozy place they call their office. The Governator wants to sell off California's landmarks as a way to ease our economic crisis. Notable spots such as the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, San Quentin State Prison, and the Orange County Fairgrounds could be on the block as part of a revised budget plan. The money generated from these sales, between six hundred million to one billion dollars, would not be available for two to five years, and no mention has been made about what to do with the prisoners currently doing time in San Quentin, but we've learned not to disturb genius at work. The real estate brochures practically write themselves: "Stunning views highlight this beautiful Marin estate, with 3,082 bedrooms, 1,542 baths and a death chamber, a well planned, efficient chef's kitchen with massive storage and a huge dining hall. This baby's got it all and it's priced to move!" Former tenant Charles Manson had nothing but nice things to say about the place.
I'm afraid it's only starting to get weird. Tune in next week when Arnold sells the naming rights to Half Dome to Match.com.

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