Swamp Logic

Now, when I was a boy, I couldn't wait to get me one of them levitatin' trains. Now this young buck of a governor tells me that this is one of them there liberal elitist ideas that will cost hard-working Americans like you and I to lose our jobs and sell our homes to pay for tourists to ride from Las Vegas to Disneyland. What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
At least that's the way I felt on Tuesday night as I sat, entranced by the youthful visage of Louisiana's Bobby Jindal. Maybe I should have taken a clue from that first name. When I hear somebody calling themselves "Bobby" I expect one of two things: A middle name that is always spoken in the same breath, or that the person in question will be doing three shows nightly in the Stardust Lounge at the local Holiday Inn. I don't know if Governor Jindal is keeping his middle name under wraps (Piyush?) to avoid appearing "too southern," and I've got doubts about his ability to carry a tune outside of a bucket, but I'm guessing that he could sing "Misty" a better than he was able to convey a coherent response to President Obama's address to Congress.
Jindal is one of those southern governors that are turning their very selective noses up at the idea of receiving any of the federal government's stimulus money. Not that his state isn't in desperate need. Less government and more tax cuts is a refrain that has been heard for the past eight years with ever-diminishing response. Wrap that up in a folksy bayou drawl, and you still have stale gumbo.
"Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington," Jindal said. Nice bit of homespun wisdom, coming from a guy who doesn't have any active volcanoes in his state. Folks in Alaska and Washington state aren't as amused. Jindal's suggestion was that we need to grow jobs, not government. Monitoring volcanoes is a job. It takes equipment. Equipment that periodically gets blown up, not unlike the dikes in New Orleans. There was no mention of the funding for further study of hurricane tracking.
No matter. Governor Jindal wasn't available for comment after his speech. He was on his way to Disney World with his family for a much needed vacation. And you can be sure that he didn't take a ride on any fanciful high-speed train, unless you're counting the Monorail.