Re-Tales

Coincidence and convenience combined today to send me back into the retail fray. After doing everything I could to avoid becoming lost in the mall by doing almost all my shopping via Al Gore's Internet, I found myself in the midst of a swarm of post-Christmas consumers for the second time in as many days. I suppose it makes some kind of fiscal sense, since many stores have done us all the favor by continuing to make fleece vests and big screen TVs more affordable. But I don't need a fleece vest, and I've already got a very nice TV. What was I thinking?
Most of all, I was being a good husband. It would be hard to imagine a more personal gift than the Christmas Commode she received last week, but there was still the matter of finding a present that was at least a little more traditional. That's how we found ourselves at Old Navy. This is where my endurance was tested.
I knew that my son, who attends a middle school with a very specific dress code, needed a new blue sweatshirt. With the promise of sixty percent off everything, why not take a chance that there was something there for mom as well? I had forgotten my training. Way back in high school I agreed to go shopping with girlfriend, who introduced me to the very clear distinction between buying and shopping. For me, once you had gone once around those circular racks of clothes, you had seen what was available. I soon learned that it was important to make several trips around the same rack, just in case your mood changed, or in case a new and more perfect piece of clothing was spontaneously generated as you completed the circuit. I eventually became dizzy, and discovered the need for those little benches just outside the dressing rooms.
Today I found myself getting just a little queasy as we cycled through the racks, and I avoided the temptation to whine. I knew it was my predilection to make a straight line directly to the item I wanted to purchase, and another one straight to the cash register. Any attempt made to track us during our time in Old Navy would have broken your GPS. It was a maze of indecision and false starts, but in the end, we found exactly what it turned out we were looking for. I didn't understand it at first, but we had been looking for bargains, and that is the gift that keeps on giving. My wife got a sweater. The local economy got a little nudge, and I got a roundabout, winding trip down memory lane.