You're A Good Man, Linus Van Pelt

One morning I woke up and realized that I wasn't Charlie Brown after all, I was Linus. This came as somewhat of a shock, since I had lived my life prior to that moment believing that I was a blockhead, incapable of effectively giving and receiving love. I spent a good deal of effort and time constructing various "little red-haired" girl scenarios, only to have my prophecies fulfilled. I even owned a yellow shirt with a black zig-zag around the middle. "Good grief," I sighed, "I'm doomed."
Then I had my awakening: I wasn't Chuck, even though it would have been convenient since that is my middle name, but I was Lucy's little brother, Linus. In fits and starts, Linus is every bit as insecure as his pal, but he spends much more time reflecting on his limitations and finding ways to make them work in his favor. He didn't waste his nickels on his sisters "Psychiatric Help". He was looking for ever more profound answers to the meaning of existence. Even his biggest possible impediment, his trusty security blanket, becomes at various times a disguise or even a weapon in moments of duress. This doesn't make him any more available for relationships, as he finds himself constantly at odds with the affections of Charlie Brown's sister Sally. And lo and behole, I ended up marrying that little blonde-haired girl.
Truth is I should have made this connection way back in elementary school when I had a poster of Linus on my bedroom wall. On a fuchsia background, he pontificates in a word bubble: "No problem is so big or so complicated that it cannot be run away from." Words to live by, and now that I am free to embrace the wisdom of Linus Van Pelt, I shall endeavor to do so.