A Real American Hero

Senator John McCain is, by most definitions, an American hero. After serving two terms in the House of Representatives, he has represented Arizona in the Senate since 1986, and has run for President of the United States in the past three elections. Add that to his twenty-two year career as a naval aviator and the six years he spent as a prisoner of war, and you've got quite a nice little national service resume. His web site will tell you, "He is a common sense conservative who believes in a strong national defense, a smaller, more accountable government, economic growth and opportunity, the dignity of life and traditional values."
So what's wrong with that? At the very least, this guy's credentials are far and away more impressive than the Pinhead who has the job right now, so why wouldn't we elect him? Hindsight is an amazing thing, since back in 2000, John McCain beat the once and future Pinhead in his Pinhead Senior's back yard: The New Hampshire Primary. This was back in the day of the original "Straight Talk Express", the bus that rolled from poll to poll as Senator McCain weighed in with his candid views on issues of the day. Remember, this was before the events of September 11, and before our invasion of Iraq. In response to McCain's surging popularity, the Pinhead cabal launched one of the most extreme and brutal dirty campaigns in recent memory, including such memorable tidbits as flyers claiming most famously that the Senator from Arizona had fathered a black child out of wedlock (the McCains' dark-skinned daughter Bridget was adopted from Bangladesh; this misrepresentation was thought to be an especially effective slur in a Deep South state where race was still central) but also that his wife Cindy was a drug addict, that he was a homosexual, and that he was a "Manchurian Candidate" traitor or mentally unstable from his North Vietnam POW days. It was at this point, just before the South Carolina primary, that the Straight Talk Express started to lose momentum. He changed his stance on flying the Confederate flag at the state capitol from a "very offensive" "symbol of racism and slavery" to "a symbol of heritage." It was at this point that John McCain became a politician.
In 2004, he stood grim-faced beside "our commander-in-chief", as the Pinhead was re-elected for his record of managing the "war on terror." John McCain showed himself a good soldier once again, and he waited his turn. He announced his candidacy for President of the United States again on the David Letterman show. He showed himself a good showman. In the intervening eight years, he has cozied up to the Christian Right, speaking at the 2006 Liberty University commencement, run by the man he referred to six years earlier as "an agent of intolerance." Recently when a questioner said, "President Bush has talked about our staying in Iraq for 50 years." McCain responded, "Make it a hundred. We've been in Japan for 60 years, we've been in South Korea for 50 years or so. That'd be fine with me as long as Americans are not being injured or harmed or wounded or killed. That's fine with me. I hope it will be fine with you if we maintain a presence in a very volatile part of the world where Al Qaeda is training, recruiting, equipping, and motivating people every single day."
Upon careful consideration, I suggest that Senator McCain stick with the short version of his resume. I liked him better eight years ago.