"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." You probably know this quote from "The Princess Bride." I find myself referring to it regularly when I hear the whine of approaching ten-year-olds. The sentiment is generally lost on them, but for me it is central to the story of true love. The ad campaign for the film suggested, "Scaling the Cliffs of Insanity, Battling Rodents of Unusual Size, Facing torture in the Pit of Despair. - True love has never been a snap."
Pain, misery, and heartbreak: We spend vast expanses in our lives suffering through what we hope will become the love of our lives. We wear things we never wear again. We sit through movies that we will wish we could forget. We eat things with a smile that cause us to gag in the most polite way possible. And we buy things. We buy lots of things. For love.
The Beatles may have tried to warn us, but I don't think I ever fully heeded their advice: "Money can't buy me love." You can certainly make the case that money can buy physical sensations that might in some cultures add up to love, but the actual emotion? Well, that's a different matter. Remember the lessons of Mother's Days long past. Giving your mother some expensive trinket never had the same impact as the handmade card with the personal crayon scrawl on the inside. You're always better off when you're giving from your heart, rather than your wallet.
And so we return to the concept of fairness. Is it fair that the person that you have lost sleep over for the entirety of eighth grade feels that you are always going to be your "good friend"? Is it fair that Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett, and then divorced him? Is it fair that there is no statute of limitations on a broken heart? No. Life isn't fair. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is selling something, and it's probably a box of chocolates or a fistful of flowers. Still, in the end even embittered old Miracle Max had to surrender to the force that is True Love. He revives Westley from "near death" for just such a cause. That and "humiliations galore" for the evil Prince Humperdink. Now is that fair? You betcha.
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