Nothing Succeeds Like Succession

The pages of the calendar keep falling away, but Pinhead still maintains a residence on Pennsylvania avenue. In the wake of yesterday's Superawesomespectaculargiganticimpressive Tuesday Primary Elections and Caucuses, my son asked a question about succession of power. He wanted to know what was going to happen when Pinhead stopped being president. Would Dick Cheney take over?
This is a kid who has only really known a world with a Pinhead president. He was surprised to hear that, in the days before his political landscape had fully formed, Al Gore had run for president against Pinhead. In hindsight, it certainly seems like a ridiculously easy choice, but somehow we managed to mess that one up. He was much more aware of the contest between John Kerry and the already ensconced Pinhead. He seemed more or less resigned to that outcome, but he was still concerned about the looming spectre of the Vice-Overlord.
There's no reason to drag Al Haig into his consciousness just yet, but I wanted to assure him that there was a logical, step-by-step process for just such an emergency. That's about the time my wife chimed in with her observation that maybe the reason Pinhead had stayed in office so long was to keep the flesh-eating cyborg that is our vice-president from moving into the Oval Office. Maybe she didn't use those exact words, but that was her sentiment.
Then we moved down the line to the Speaker of the House. Nancy Pelosi has remained, ironically enough, firm in her convictions against moving for impeachment of President Pinhead. Either she really doesn't want the job, or she too fears the reign of "Dick". But my son wanted to know more. He wondered if the chain of succession would eventually wind its way down to "the head of the school board". Initially I glossed over his suggestion, considering that our local school board has been under state control for several years now, but then a new vision formed in my head: Those nightmare scenarios of California sliding into the ocean, or Earth versus the Flying Saucers might allow for such radical transitions. With this in mind, I decided that I should be paying more attention to whom I award such lofty office. You never know when that lizard-crab-insect from "Cloverfield" is going to come crawling out of the bay and shake everything up for real. Or was that our Vice President?