If it's good to be king, as Tom Petty and others have observed for many years, then it's even better to be queen. Queen Elizabeth II will turn eighty years young on April 21, and I have to say that she doesn't look a day over - well, she certainly looks regal, doesn't she?
What do you get the woman who doesn't actually have everything, but she knows where to send her servants to fetch it? She owns all the dolphins and whales that swim in British waters. She got her first pony when she was five (I suspect that she didn't even have to whine much) and she presently owns twenty-five race horses. Other thoughtful gifts over the years have included Brazilian jaguars and a grove of Maple trees. This considerable menagerie would not be complete without the thirty-odd Corgi dogs that have been her constant canine companions for her entire reign.
Meanwhile, Queen Liz shows no signs of slowing down. Prince Charles must harbor some dark fantasies about leaving the latch of the jaguar's cage open, or maybe a nice cruise out on the open sea to visit some of the royal sturgeon, "See Mummy? I think that one's waving to you! No, look just a little closer..." I believe that the Queen has yet to step down because the notion of retiring seems so absurd. In Canada, she gets to be the flip side of their coins opposite a beaver - silly Canucks. How does she manage all her royal duties and find time to make the 1,450 Christmas puddings that she gives each year as gifts? Heaven only knows.
O Lord, our God, arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall.
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On Thee our hopes we fix:
God save the Queen. - traditional
God save the Queen,
She ain't no human being - Johnny Rotten