Monday, July 11, 2022

Smug Alert

 I will admit that there is a special and unique confidence that comes from living in California. We've got legalized marijuana and I'm pretty sure same-sex marriage was invented here. We are a sanctuary for immigrants and refugees and those who have tired of the reality in their less-than-enlightened states. We've got a bear on our flag. And just in case someone missed the difference, our governor recently sent out a campaign video. To air in Florida. the punchline? "Join us in California."

It is at this precise moment that I am having conversations with others about what could happen if the states stopped being so united. Maybe we'll get lucky and we won't have another Civil War. Maybe states will just drift away from one another in a mutual agreement that "things just didn't work out between us." We'll keep Disneyland, thanks. And the ocean. Oh, and the fifth largest economy in the world, thank you very much. 

Please understand that I know that not every Californian sees eye to eye with every other Californian. I was impressed once again by the number of signs decrying the water policies of the environmentalists who can't seem to find a way to legitimize diverting even more water to grow almonds in the San Joaquin Valley. It takes more than one gallon to grow an almond. Singular. We are currently living through a drought of increasingly epic proportions. Maybe we could go without almonds for a while? 

So maybe the almond farmers won't want to get on the secessionist bandwagon. And Tim Allen. He seems to be a little hurt still about being passed over for the voice-acting job for Lightyear. If you don't feel like hanging around, we're not going to harsh on anyone's buzz. If you'll pardon the pun. He might end up in that red pool of the central valley, surrounded by all the other nuts. Metaphorically speaking. 

This setup might not be too very different from the conundrum that will likely occur in Texas as the Lone Star state returns to its etymological roots. All those weird folks in Austin will likely have to carve out their own weird quadrant to survive. Or maybe we can straight up trade some disgruntled almond farmers for the music and art crowd from Texas. 

I wouldn't want to sound too extreme. Just smug. 

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