Wednesday, May 11, 2022

As Expected

 And just when things were going so well!

It is the firm belief of MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell that the draft Supreme Court opinion that points to the potential overturn of Roe v. Wade was done intentionally to sabotage efforts to undermine the results of the 2020 presidential election. "What kind of timing is that, you follow me? So that gets the news instead of more and more evidence and more stuff piling on of what happened in the 2020 election."

What kind of timing indeed. A year and a half after the presidential election that many with little or nothing else to do but make pillows and get kicked off of Twitter (twice) have gone to jail or moved on from, Mike the Pillow King is trying to figure out who is trying to undercut his message. The announcement of the Supreme Court leak came just two hours before the debut of the "documentary" by Dinesh D'Souza, 2000 Mules. The premiere was attended by luminaries (looney-naries) like Marjorie Taylor Green and Kyle Rittenhouse. And yet somehow, that thunder was stolen from Mike and his fellow Pillow/Conspiracy fanatics by the news that the highest court in the land was considering the reversal of a decision that has stood for more than fifty years and affects every woman, every man, and every child in the country. 


Well, on May 5, 2022 bloody battles continued to be waged in Ukraine as the siege at the Azovstal steel plant in Mariupol continued. Evacuation of children and civilians continued to be hampered by nearly constant shelling by Russian forces. The Federal Reserve raised interest rates by half a percentage point to help control rampant inflation. This is the first time in twenty-two years that the Reserve had hiked rates that much. Comedian Dave Chappelle released a statement regarding the audience member who attacked him on stage two nights earlier. He was able to continue the show, with help from friends, including Will Smith victim Chris Rock. An Alabama corrections officer who had been carrying on a romantic relationship with a murder suspect disappeared with her paramour after taking a detour on the way to the courthouse. The pair were still at large while Mister Mike's big reveal was going to take place. 


Everything is a conspiracy when you're Mike Lindell. Never mind that each of the promises he has made to prove without a shadow of a doubt that the 2020 election was stolen have settled into redundant shows of debunked theories and accusations of truth being suppressed. I will expect that in a couple of years Mikey Pillowhead will be outraged when the results of the 2024 presidential election "obscure" his most recent evidence of "the big steal." 

How does this guy find time to make pillows? Mike needs a new hobby. 

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