On The Record

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, trouble was brewing.
"Say guys, do you suppose there's any way we could screen the wretched refuse coming into our country to make sure that we never have to spend a dime on them?"
"Well, that would mean that only people who were self-sustaining would ever get into the country."
"Yeah?"
"Do you really feel like that is in line with our country's moral center?"
Laughter erupts. "Feel? You're kidding right?"
A general wiping of eyes and snorting. "Moral center?"
A fresh burst of snickering.
"But seriously, ahem, couldn't we just keep all the poor folks out and only let in the rich ones?"
"Seriously?"
"Wouldn't it be best to keep all those tired, poor, sick, yearning to breathe free types off of our doorstep?"
"Well, I suppose we could limit the number of new immigrants who would require government assistance such as food stamps or Medicaid."
"Well, we could ask the Supreme Court, since the Court of Appeals already ruled against something like this." 
"Sure, sure, but I've got that problem pretty much taken care of now."
Chuckles ensue. "Well sir, I guess that's true."
"And while we're at it, can we put some sort of civics test in there? Just to help weed out the really dumb ones?"
"Something simple, like branches of the government and their responsibilities?"
"Yeah, like that."
"Maybe a question or two about what Congress does and what the President does?"
"Pardon me?"
"You know: Checks and balances. Separation of powers, that sort of thing."
"Excuse me?"
Silence in the room. "Oh. Right. My apologies, your highness."
"That's better."
"Yes sir."
"Now can we get back to more important things? Is it time for Fox and Friends?"