Wednesday, September 17, 2014

What Is Just?

Semantics is the branch of linguistics concerned with meaning. I have always had a fascination with semantics, and lately I've been wondering if there should be a separate category for studying the connection between language and relationships. This topic popped up for me as I was considering the custom of wives taking their husband's last name. It's a convention that fell out of vogue sometime in the past few decades. There have been plenty of hyphens and slashes and other ways to minimize the male domination of women via marriage. But lately I've been wondering if those bits of punctuation aren't doing more than just keeping two competing surnames apart.
At some level, taking someone else's name could be seen as surrender, or at worst, subjugation. A contrasting point of view would be that this is a level of commitment that we have become uncomfortable with as a culture. A woman isn't a car, after all. You don't just transfer her title from father to husband. She is not property. Maybe it's that little bit of surrender that is necessary to bridge the gap between one family and another.
It puts me in mind of one of the phrase "just good friends." I see this limiting word at the front of that sobriquet and I wonder how it stands up next to the words I see on the back of cars leaving weddings: "Just Married." To quote Inigo Montoya, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Just? That one's got three different meanings: two adverbs and one adjective. Which is most meaningful in this case?
I'm guessing it probably has a lot to do with what sort of relationship you find yourself pursuing. When it's a limiter, "just married" has nothing to do with waiting until death to part. It's a convenience. It's circumstantial. It's not so very much about forever. Why trade names in this case? Or give your identity up at all? It's not like you're somebody's slave. You're just somebody's wife. It's just a name after all. It's just semantics. Right?

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