We Lost Our Tails Evolving Up From Little Snails

One third of Americans reject evolution. That is to say the idea, not the process, exactly. The inquisitive folks at Pew Research Center conducted a survey to take the pulse of our nation's views on just how we all came to be. Thirty-three percent of those who were asked said, “humans and other living things have existed in their present form since the beginning of time.” I suppose the good news is that those who believe “humans and other living things have evolved over time" outnumber those folks two to one, it does give one pause. This one in particular. I live in a house with three people in it, and we all seem to be pretty comfortable with the idea that humans and other living things haven't always looked, acted and experienced life the way we do currently. That's probably because we have been to museums and read as a family. Museums and books that are no doubt full of lies and evil magic, but that means that somewhere there is a family of three where two people don't believe in evolution and one clings to his or her crazy "scientific" beliefs in the face of overwhelming odds.
I would not want to be that person. "Dad, can I go out and play?"
"Do you reject the vile and seditious beliefs?"
"No. We came from apes."
"Don't let your mother hear you say that."
"Why not?"
"Because it would break her heart."
"You mean the one that has recently been found to be genetically linked to a lizard's?"
"That's it! Go to your room!"
"And I'll make sure to close the door with my opposable thumb."
Later that night they will have a dinner of nuts and berries, gathered over the course of the day in their cave lit by what Dad likes to call God Stuff.