Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Working It Out

The insult that made a man out of Mac: "Listen here, I'd smash your face... Only you're so skinny you might dry up and blow away." And with that, Mac hustles off to his home gym and, with the aid of Charles Atlas' book, he transforms his skeletal frame into that of a ripped Hero of the Beach. According to the ad, that was in the back of most every comic book I can remember buying for a very long time, it only took a "little while," or one frame, to make this somewhat magical metamorphosis. This allows Mac to become the guy who smashes faces. Hooray for Mac!
This was what was going through my head as I finished up my workout over the weekend. Three to five days a week, I spend thirty minutes to an hour with the expressed interest in getting that build for which Mac became famous. Running. Push-ups. Sit-ups. Yoga. Punching bag. Sweating. Straining. Exercising. It makes me wonder how long "a little while" really is.
Then I started remembering the comics that came before that ad. Spider Man. Captain America. The Incredible Hulk. Spidey and Hulk had various doses of radiation to thank for turning nerdy science-types into chiseled examples of manhood. Sure, maybe your skin turned green, or you have a propensity to stick to walls, but think of all that time you didn't have to spend working out. Then there's Cap, also known to his intimates as Steve Rogers. Steve just wanted to serve his country. He just wanted to fight and kill some Nazis. But since he was 4F, he wasn't allowed to. Not until he was given a dose of Super Soldier Serum. Now he could fill out those tights and skipped all that time in the weight room. Suddenly, I understood the rationale for steroids: The injection that made a man out of Mac.
I think I'll stick to the exercise regimen. At least this way I don't have to go toe-to-toe with Doctor Doom.

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