When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder

Harold Camping has been praying. A lot. It's what he does. Well, that and when the mood strikes him he reveals what God has spoken to him. Last week it was the end of the world. You may remember that, or the fact that the world kept spinning. This, in Harold's words, "flabbergasted" him, along with a good many of his ardent followers who had spent weeks and months preparing for the Rapture.
Not to worry. He has clarified his position: Judgement Day did come on the twenty-first of May, just as he had predicted. It wasn't the fire and brimstone version, however. This was the spiritual version. The ugly mess with people disappearing, leaving only their clothes for the rest of us to have to pick up is coming in October. The twenty-first, to be precise. It seems that the bureaucracy that deals with such matters moves a little slow, and judging a few billion souls is a time-consuming proposition.
And so we wait. I confess, since confession is good for the soul, that when six o'clock rolled around I had the same smug relief that I felt when all the computers clicked over to the new century without any disruption. I did end up with a bunch of duct tape and motor oil that a friend had been hoarding for the occasion, but other than that, life went on pretty much the same on the first of January, 2000. I went about my business after the moment of Judgement Day came and went. Until the earthquake hit.
One hour and five minutes after we were set to be consumed, I felt a jolt. That's when I considered all the things I did not know. Try telling the folks in Joplin, Missouri that the end of the world hasn't come. Or the people of Japan. The end is coming for all of us, but Harold may not have the best answers. At least we've got another six months to bet on the over/under for Armageddon.