What Burns Me Up

It's a beautiful world for you, or at least that's what the boys from Akron, Ohio used to tell us. Millionaires continue to run for president of the United States, while the rest of us continue to wonder where the middle class has gone. War doesn't even show up on the budget anymore. We just expect to pay for it much in the same way we expect to pay for the reactors that melt down or the wells that explode. It's a beautiful world.
For this reason I found the following headline refreshing: "Candles recalled because of fire risk." At last, a concrete example of how our government is looking out for us, the little people. Not content to simply accept the wisdom of our overlords, I decided that I should check out the details. The last time I checked, one of the features of your standard candle was fire. Were the wicks made from some sort of incendiary material that caused a jet of flame to erupt from your birthday cake? Maybe it was some sort of novelty gone horribly wrong. Upon further reading, I discovered that the cups holding the candles are made of plastic and were susceptible to melting or catching fire. I chose not to take offense with the misinformation I was presented with initially. The problem was in the container for the candle, not the candle itself. As long as the candle was carefully monitored, there would be no concern about the fire which would stay restricted to the part of the candle that is supposed to burn, and the melting would be limited to the wax that we have all traditionally come to expect.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission would like us all to know that there are seven million of these potential conflagrations among us, most of which came from Target and other discount retailers. Maybe the Trumps and Obamas of the world can afford to spend thirty-four dollars on their tea candles, but for now I'll stick with the cheap alternatives to heat my home.