Nothing To Fear

Was it extra hard to sleep Saturday night? Were your pets agitated and your spouse nervous? Did all the liquids in your refrigerator drift to one side? You may have been feeling the effects of Supermoon, an astronomical oddity eighteen years in the making. Every couple of decades or so, orbital mechanics bring the moon closer to us than usual, making it appear larger. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration would like us to know that this quirk in celestial scheduling was not the cause of any natural disasters. Just like back in December 1993 when it happened the last time.
However, it was in December of 1993 that NASA launched the space shuttle Endeavour, supposedly to correct a flaw in the Hubble Telescope. President Bill Clinton signed the North American Free Trade Agreement. Israel and the Vatican set up diplomatic relations for the very first time. Could all these events be coincidental? I say we blame the moon. Future generations will be able to look back at the past month and be able to link the unrest in the Middle East and the earthquake in Japan to our big green cheesy satellite.
It makes much more practical sense to blame a big hunk of rock that has been there for billions of years than to try and establish causal connections. I suggest that we return to the relative safety and calm of an era when heavenly happenings sufficed as explanation for all manner of things, from wars to warts. The next total eclipse will occur exactly one week after the 2012 election. Knowing the date that the gods will consume the ball of fire in the sky is at once terrifying and yet comforting. I had better get busy collecting crystals for the event.