Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Hey! Guess what's up in America's Dairyland? Wisconsin's governor signed a bill on Tuesday that says Sex education teachers must present abstinence as the preferred behavior for unmarried people. I know why this strikes me funny. It's because I have a nine year old son who is still firm in the conviction that all girls except his mother will give him cooties unless he takes undue caution and preparation.
I also remember, with some mild shame, when I was a sophomore in high school and was swept up in a semester of giggling and snickering as the reproductive cycle of human beings was laid out for all us uninitiated (read: those of us in band). Teaching me about how a man and a woman would "make whoopee" at the fragile age of sixteen seemed a little like teaching that same person how to operate a motor vehicle. It was an all consuming thought for hours and days at a time (driving and having sex, alternately to start). Listening to anyone over the age of twenty-one talk about it just made me laugh. Still does.
Here's the funniest part: "The governor thinks that abstinence should be an important part of the message that kids hear from adults as part of their classes," spokesman Dan Leistikow said. We're going to tell you where the ignition is, and the turbocharger, how to make a left turn onto a one way street, and parallel park. Then we're going to ask that you forget about it until you are married. I don't know about you, but I practiced abstinence in my teens primarily because it was somebody else's choice - not mine.

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