Flock You

 The one finger salute. 

Give someone the bird.

Flip the bird. 

Flip someone off.

Flick someone off. 

Give someone the finger. 

Once, when shown this signal by detention-mate Claire Standish, young John Bender was shocked: "Obscene finger gestures from such a pristine young girl."

Which is essentially the approach I take when I see the bird taking flight on my walks across the elementary school playground. Most of them have no working knowledge of what gesticulation implies beyond the obvious naughty implication. They have seen someone else do it, and they have heard the gasps. They might be years away from uttering any of the variants of the meaning behind that middle finger, but they know it's dirty. Kids flip the bird at each other. They wait until the grownups' backs are turned and they give them the finger. One of the upsides to all this digit manipulation is that it gives a pretty accurate reading for basic motor skills. 

Which brings us to the "very stable genius" who is capable not only of identifying a giraffe, but also capable of maneuvering his fingers into the aforementioned salute. The convicted felon's supporters/handlers must be relieved to know that he is capable of such dexterity after months of concern over the bruises on those tiny little hands. He was able to signal his previously mouthed response at a Ford auto worker who had called him out as a "pedophile protector." 

The Ford employee was suspended directly after this exchange, and shortly after that two separate GoFundMe accounts was set up for him and his family. Donations added up to just over eight hundred thousand dollars. 

I don't know if we can afford to pay off every offended third grader on our playground like that.