Call Me

 Just for my own peace of mind, I went to the National Do Not Call Registry. I wanted to be sure that I hadn't mistakenly believed that I had signed up both my home number and my cell phone so that I could have "a choice about whether to receive telemarketing calls." I was happy to see my suspicions confirmed: I had signed up our landline more than twenty years ago, and my mobile number a dozen years earlier. 

How could it be that after all this time I still regularly receive calls with a bright red warning on the caller ID: Scam Likely? 

Well, sadly this notion did not occur to me until I was this many years old, but I don't think this particular government agency is actively working to keep my number from being called by telemarketers and robocalls. One of the three main links on the Registry page is "Report Unwanted Calls." While I appreciate this outlet, I do wonder how I have suddenly become the investigative arm of the Federal Trade Commission. In my voluminous spare time it seems that the FTC would like me to inform them when people with access to a list that includes my name call me, even though they shouldn't have my name on that list because I am on the Do Not Call List.

This is probably just me being naïve, but it seems like the volume of calls that I get on a daily basis should be enough to step up the enforcement end of this annoyance. 

Of course, it probably doesn't help matters that I tend to accept these calls primarily out of the sideways notion that I might be performing some sort of public service. If I am taking the call from the medical alert scams that are offering "free" devices to those who "need" it only to discover that there is a monthly fee to keep the device working, then perhaps someone a lot more gullible than myself won't have to take the chance of being sold something they don't really need. Usually I try to string the poor schnook on the other end of the line long enough with painfully obvious questions and revelations to the point that they hang up on me. The five minutes they spend with me is five less minutes they have to prey on the folks out there who have not gone through all that trouble to get themselves on the Do Not Call Registry. 

Did I say naïve? 

Hopelessly. The fact that Scam Likely, of the Connecticut Likelys, has the capacity to "spoof" local numbers giving you the impression that the droid at the other end of the line must be calling from a cubicle within your area code leads me to believe that I have two choices: Answer every call and enjoy the danger of signing myself up for a free box of anti-viral meds, or stop using my phone at all. 

If you have any suggestions on this matter, you can reach me at 1-888-382-1222.