Paving The Way

 They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

I don't imagine that anyone would suggest that any corner of The White House might be considered "paradise," especially during the occupation by the Second Trumpreich, but the irony of the following might go by unnoticed amidst the flurry of nonsense. 

The former game show host and slumlord announced that the grass section of the Rose Garden would soon be paved over. This is in keeping with the unseemly "restoration" undertaken by the game show host's "wife" back in 2020. This composting of one of the most iconic spaces within The People's House was solidly on par with her Christmas decorations.

On a recent stroll through the grounds, the current tenant and adjudicated rapist showed Faux News correspondent and conservative star Laura Ingraham where the newest devastation would be unleashed. “The grass just doesn’t work. And we have a gorgeous stone and everything else. But, you know, we use it for press conferences, and it doesn’t work because the people fall into the … you know, into the wet, the soaking wet.”

His royal impeachedness says "I think it will be beautiful." 

The list of things that fall into the category of "beautiful" makes one wonder how his aesthetic works exactly. Currently there are no plans to place a giant golden T in the middle of it, so this will count as a relief for some. The fact that there will still be roses is mildly encouraging, but it's only a matter of time before they get bulldozed as well.

Especially when they find out there's oil under there somewhere. 

All of this news came at approximately the same moment that it was announced that 2024 was the hottest year on record. All that grass is going to be scorched earth in a few years anyway...