Something

 "Hey man, I'm thinking about getting back together with Donna."

"Um...."

"What?"

"You mean the Donna you broke up with four years ago?"

"Yeah."

"The same Donna you spent the past four years with in court, trying to get free from all her lies?"

"That's not the way it is at all."

"The same Donna that ended up taking all your money and then handing it out to all her richie-rich friends to impress them?"

"Well..."

"The same Donna that ended up running your business into the ground and left you nothing but a ton of lawsuits?"

"Yes but..."

"The same Donna who messed things up with all your friends so bad that they won't even call you back anymore?"

"You still took my call."

"Look, I figured you'd come back to your senses soon enough, but I never imagined you'd be getting back together with her." 

"You probably wish I would have stayed with Joanne."

"Actually, yes. She was boring but you didn't end up losing all that money and all those friends."

"But she was boring!"

"Boring as in she didn't run around during COVID without a mask, babbling about getting injections of horse de-wormer and insisting that it would all be over by April." 

"I just want things to be exciting again."

"Do you mean 'exciting,' or 'dangerous?'"

"She makes me feel, I dunno, important."

"You know she doesn't really love you."

"But when I'm with her, I feel seen."

"Seen by law enforcement?"

"You know what I mean. She's got a certain something."

"I just hope that something isn't terminal."

"I get it. But you've got to trust me. I know what I'm doing with this one."

"We'll just have to agree to disagree on that."

"I just figure you should know."

"You don't have to worry about that. She's letting the whole world know."

"Yeah. She's like that."

"Yeah. One more thing?"

"What's that?" 

"Is she still going to make you wear that stupid red hat?"