We Got Him (Reprise}

 I never figured Donald Trump for a King Missile fan, but there's this: 

Take stuff from work
It's the best way to feel better about your job
Never buy pens or pencils or paper
Take 'em from work

If you're unfamiliar with King Missile's 1987 ode to the oppressed office drone, chances are so is the former game show host and twice impeached "president." But that doesn't mean he didn't adhere to the philosophy. "It's your duty as an oppressed worker to steal from your exploiters." I would imagine that the Donald hasn't paid for a pen in his adult life. He probably just got used to pocketing anything with that big gold T stamped on it. As for the whole "oppressed worker" chop, one can only imagine that in that tiny brain there isn't a lot of room for shades of gray, or right and wrong. Just the ragged impulse he feels to take stuff. From work or wherever. 

The fact that the files may or may not have had "Top Secret" stamped on them doesn't hold a lot of water when you're a guy who made a living out of telling people "you're fired." Rules don't apply to this guy, and they never have. John Oliver eventually had to retire his segment called "We Got Him!" after the first year of the Trump administration when he figured out that the bloated sack of orange protoplasm was supremely proficient at one thing: deflecting blame. His three-pronged strategy of de-legitimizing the media, "what about (fill in the blank)," and trolling any and all who disagree with him has kept him above the fray for as long as anyone can remember. 

But at last he did something that, in his words, "only mobsters do": he took the Fifth Amendment. Perhaps this is because he finally had some time between tee times to study up on the Constitution past the Second Amendment to discover that he has the right to keep his mouth shut. Or perhaps he found a lawyer who promised to give him a prize if he kept his mouth shut. For a change. Maybe one of those fancy ashtrays with the presidential seal on them. 

Poor oppressed Donald. What would happen if the world just kept on spinning and stopped caring about what slithered out of that gaping maw just below his nose? I expect that the notoriety that comes with stealing state secrets will be enough to keep his ego charged for the current news cycle. I am certain that he is secretly pleased that his "light treason" essentially obscured the passage of the Inflation Reduction Act, resulting in savings on health care, a plan for battling climate change, and the potential reduction of the national deficit by three hundred billion dollars. 

What about that?