The Real Winners Of The InfoWars

 He who has himself as a lawyer has a fool for a client. This adage is often attributed to Abraham Lincoln, a very wise man. It could be that in his years before freeing slaves and getting shot in the head, he was an attorney looking for a way to drum up business. That would make a pretty good billboard. Don't be a fool! Call 1-800-TALKTOABE. Of course all those perspective clients would have had to wait for the invention of the telephone.

Which is not the excuse for Alex Jones. The blustering blister behind InfoWars did not, in fact, choose to represent himself in the penalty phase of the trial in which the amount that the conspiracy monger will have to pay Sandy Hook parents. He picked F. Andino Reynal. The F in this case may stand for "fool," because he's the genius who handed over a digital copy of all of Mister Jones' texts to the parents' counsel. Two weeks ago. Which was just enough time for the man who lies professionally to spin some new deceit regarding what he did and did not say via text over the past two years. Awful Alex insisted that he did not have any texts on his phone regarding Sandy Hook. According to the phone records, this was a lie. The phone records handed over by his own attorney. Causing a red-faced Jones to respond, "This is your Perry Mason moment."

Except Perry Mason, television's epitome of clever justice, tended to be matched up with Hamilton Burger, a Los Angeles District Attorney who was pretty good in his own right, but never quite a match for Perry. F. Andino Reynal doesn't seem prepared to carry Burger's briefcase. Even though F's LinkedIn profile insists "He specializes in innovative litigation, conflict resolution, internal investigations, and managing accusations of violations of State, federal and international law," One might guess that handing over the contents of his client's cell phone without any strings attached probably doesn't fit the dictionary definition of "innovative." 

I'm not sure, since I never studied law. 

But I have studied irony. And I know it when I see it. If you haven't visited the InfoWars web site lately, you might be as amused as I was to find an ad waiting there promoting a service that will protect your cell phone data. Among other things. But that will do for now. Revenge is a dish best served cold, but perjury can be served at room temperature.