Jurispurdence

 If you have read more than a few of these bits of what was on my mind, you know that very little gets under my skin like mass shootings. And things that happen at school. Mass shootings that happen at school? Wellll....

Which is why I read with interest the accounts of the killer of seventeen at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. If this particular event has found its way into your memory banks without a red flag to quickly access it, then I will remind you that it took place more than three years ago. On Valentines Day. I have a very visceral memory of sitting outside a courtroom in Oakland, California waiting for one of our lengthy breaks during jury selection. Taking this time and the free wi-fi provided by Alameda County, I opened up my laptop to check the news. A continent away, terror was being unleashed on the students in that Parkland, Florida high school. The question of my capacity to serve as a jury member slipped into the background as I watched the accounts pour in, real-time for me three hours to the east. When it was all over, three staff members and fourteen students were dead, and a community was torn apart. Authorities apprehended the suspect

I was not selected for jury service that day.

Moving forward to the present: The assailant in that act of terror has pleaded guilty to seventeen counts of first degree murder and seventeen counts of attempted first degree murder. After three years of legal and psychiatric wrangling, Nikolas Cruz confessed to the murders that everyone knew he committed. 

Then, he apologized. 

As I mentioned earlier, my work at an elementary school brings me into contact with varying degrees of empathy. The grumbled shrug of the word, "Sorry," is never enough to pass muster with Mister Caven. I require a sentence. "I'm sorry for pushing you in line." For good measure, I tend to insist an inquiry into the well-being of those who have been hurt/offended. Here is what Nikolas Cruz had to say for himself in the courtroom this week: "I am very sorry for what I did and I have to live with it every day. I love you and I know you don't believe me, but I have to live with this every day and it brings me nightmares and I can't live with myself sometimes. But I try to push through because I know that's what you guys would want me to do. I just want you to know I am really sorry and I hope you give me a chance to try to help others. I hate drugs and I believe this country would do better if everyone would stop smoking marijuana and doing all these drugs and causing racism and violence out in the streets. I'm sorry and I can't even watch TV anymore. And I am trying my best to maintain my composure."

So there it is. What will be described by some as "closure." Because Mister Cruz is not the only one who has to live with what he did every day. 

I was summoned to jury duty two more times since then. I was not selected either time.