Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Thinning The Herd

Maybe I have been looking at this all wrong. When I read that Oklahoma's governor had struck down legislation that would allow adults to carry firearms without a permit or training, my initial reaction was, "Hey, good for her. Finally a little common sense entering into the arming of every man woman and child in the United States. Thank you."
And that sloshed around in my head for a while, and got mixed with the wit and wisdom of Thanos. For those of you who read this blog without attending blockbuster movies, I will pause lightly here while you toddle on out to your local cineplex and watch Avengers: Infinity War start to finish, and we'll meet down on the next line.
Better? Okay then. I can expect that now you understand that the big purple guy, Thanos, has this aim to wipe out half of all life in the galaxy. Sorry if I spoiled anything there, but short of looking up show times for you, I really can't be held accountable. Anyway, we are presented with this towering villain who has been working his way from planet to planet trying to achieve his goal, and is keen on finding a more efficient way to eliminated fifty percent of the population everywhere in a snap of his fingers.
Why? Well it turns out that he's kind of an environmentalist. He has reasoned out that too many people using too many resources causes too much pain and suffering, so what he is doing is providing a service. Kind of an evolutionary reset button. All those deer were going to starve because there wer just too many of them. Shooting them in the head was saving them from some crueler fate. If it sounds a little like Candide, then you might be guessing where I am heading.
If we were to arm all the people in Oklahoma, then eventually there would be fewer people in Oklahoma. Ergo, one can assume that getting the rest of the country packing heat could only help us out. The same goes for climate change. When we are finally left with a cinder on which to live, only the heartiest souls, I'm thinking Viggo Mortensen in The Road here, will survive. Likewise nuclear war. We should be celebrating the potential for limiting the traffic jams and crowds. This is Make America Great thing turns out to be a boon for all of us!
And the line to get into the next Avengers movie will be even shorter. This truly is the best of all possible worlds.

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