I went to a few Homecoming Dances in my day. They were mostly uncomfortable affairs that served primarily as a way for me to exercise what my friends and I considered manliness. Asking a girl out on a date was a nearly impossible task. For me. I had friends who dated successfully and often. They had steady girlfriends. They had relationships. That meant when it came time to pair off for that annual rite of Fall, they were set.
Me? I had just come back from summer vacation without having done the necessary groundwork for such an enterprise. Talking to girls wasn't really the problem. Talking to girls about anything that mattered was the problem. I was a funny guy. I had memorized more comedy albums than anyone else in my class. I was not afraid to climb on top of things and pretend to be a gorilla. The Pepsi machine in the hallway outside of the band room, for example. That lack of fear did not extend to the ability to experience the following exchange:
"Hey (girl's name), are you going to the Homecoming Dance?"
"Well, nobody has asked me. Yet."
"Gee, that's great to hear (girl's name). Would you like to go with me?"
"With you, (my name)?"
And that's where the trolley jumped the track. I was pretty sure I could get laughs. I could get a reaction. It just wasn't the reaction I could have imagined. Wished for. All for the chance to get my suit out of the closet and fret about a corsage and washing my car and my palms to stop sweating in the days leading up to the Big Night.
Then there was the really big leap: What if I asked this girl out to the Homecoming Dance and we ended up having this great time and then drove up to some secluded spot and then we ended up getting married? No pressure, (my name).
Decades later, I encouraged my son to try and get out in front of these situations and ask a girl out to see a movie or grab a slice of pizza. Don't wait until the week before that Big Night. Don't climb on top of Pepsi machines and act like a gorilla. Give yourself a chance.
I went to a few Homecoming Dances in my day. I was terrified. I'm sure my date had a wonderful time.
Yeah.
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Somewhere in a green Dodge Dart Ann Wright is smiling.
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