Thursday, September 29, 2016

The Nineteenth Hole

Jesus and Moses went out golfing, it being the seventh day and a day to rest, they decided to do it on the links. Coming up to the second tee, Moses notices that Jesus has out his nine iron. "Hey, your holiness, you sure you got the right club there?"
"Don't you worry about a thing. This is what Arnold Palmer would do." Sure enough, Jesus knocks the holy crud out of the ball, but it slices into the rough. Moses shakes his head as he walks up to set his ball down.
A few holes later, Jesus finds himself with a rather tricky lie on the edge of a sand trap. Once again, Jesus pull the nine iron.
"Really, Jesus?"
Jesus looks back over his shoulder at his partner, "It's what Arnold Palmer would do." With that, he takes a big swing, clearing a stand of trees but landing and then rolling into an adjacent bunker.
Moses sighs and moves down the fairway to find his own ball.
With all the tricky play and alternative clubs, other golfers have begun to back up behind these two, and Moses is becoming a little self-conscious. That's when Jesus uses that same iron to send the ball a mile, and straight into the lake. He takes off his shoes and socks, and walks down to the bank, then very serenely, Jesus walks out a few feet on the water, rolls up the sleeve of his robe and leans down to pluck the errant ball off the bottom of the lake. "Can I get a ruling here?" he calls from ten feet off shore with barely a ripple beneath his toes.
One of the other duffers who has been watching all this looks on in astonishment. "Wow. Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"
"No," says Moses, "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."
Aloha, Arnold. You stomped on the Terra, but you always replaced your divots.

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