Monday, January 25, 2016


Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? 
Teddy: What are you cracked? 
Vern: Why not? I saw the other day, he was carrying five elephants in one hand. 
Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothin', Mighty Mouse is a cartoon, Superman is a real guy, no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy. 
Vern: Yeah, maybe you're right... would be a good fight though! 
Teddy: Tssh. 

I am suggesting that this conversation has been going on for decades, and it will continue for decades more. Comic book movies will ensure that. This spring, Batman will try to beat up Superman. Captain American will try to beat up Iron Man. Something about absolute power corrupting absolutely, or maybe super power corrupts superly. So, if I'm hanging around Gotham City, and I have grown tired of how easy it is to round up the garden variety bank robbers and thugs, I will probably pine for those instances of Penguins or Jokers escaping whatever confines they have been condemned to over the years. I might even start looking at the Daily Planet to see what's happening down the river in Metropolis. If I were the kind of guy who dresses up like a flying rodent, I might start looking over my shoulder, and start to gauge my super-ness by the guy in the blue tights. Just as we wonder if God can make a boulder so large that he can't lift it, Batman probably wonders if there isn't something he could pack in that utility belt that would level the Justice League playing field a little bit. 
Iron Man and Captain America have been alpha dogs in the same pack for a long time. Sitting across from Tony Stark in Stark Tower, knowing that you owe him for your resurrection from an ice floe must pain Cap. He's a team player and all, but having to play catch-up with a billionaire playboy philanthropist must wear on a guy over time. And don't think the billionaire playboy philanthropist doesn't feel it on his side. Keenly. He needs a red and gold shell to keep up with the super antics of his super soldier associate. He might be a little green under all that red and gold.
And so it goes, in the world of superheroes. We wonder when this costumed crusader will tip this way or that. We worry about allegiances and alliances that will undermine the stability provided by a group of extra-human crimebusters. 
But it's not real life. We shouldn't be as worried about the big screen conflicts of spandex clad superfolks as we are about the podium full of contenders for the big prize in November's real life election. Red Man versus Blue Woman. Thunderhair versus Old Guy. Computer graphics would help a lot. 

1 comment:

Krs10 said...

"Red Man versus Blue Woman. Thunderhair versus Old Guy." HA HA HA HA AH!