A twenty-four hour news cycle is hard to fill. Each day we are treated to squirrels on water skis and massive fails of one sort or another in order to get "news" into all the cracks. Myself, I find it hard some mornings to stitch together meaning to put down here in order to meet my daily word count. I could delve further into our debt to China or the work that is being done to save indigenous species on continents other than ours, but that would involve a level of concern and research that might push me out of my comfort zone. And that brings me to Lord J. Trumpington III. Donald. The internal filibusting machine. That who no one could ever agree with long since you never know what surly invective will come roaring out of his face. It seems as though the longer he stays at this whole Presidential thing, the worse it becomes.
Let's take a step back to the beginning of the week, when his gaze landed on Wild Card Weekend. Donald Trump took this opportunity to announce, "Football has become soft like our country has become soft." This was not his belated weighing in on last year's Deflategate, though that would have been a decent metaphorical way to go. Instead, he took this opportunity to point out how things aren't like they used to be, with ferocious tackles and forearm shivers that led to players being scraped off the field and carted off in a war of attrition that defined a rougher, tougher, America. Back then, it was a country that wasn't afraid of getting punched in the face, and if there was a decapitation, it certainly would not have resulted in a fifteen yard penalty. "The referees, they all throw flags," the Trumpster moaned. The one-time owner of a professional football team seemed mystified by the NFL's need to protect its most valuable commodity: its players. After decades of chewing players up and spitting them out with brain damage, the NFL has finally taken some vague steps toward limiting the carnage. Wussies.
And while we are on the subject of things without Lord Trumpenstein could do, there's the Environmental Protection agency and education. They don't tend to throw flags as much as they get in the way of money that could be going anywhere else. The celebrity businessman promised "tremendous cutting" if he were to be allowed the privilege of his presidency. Not for the estimated eighty billion dollars his immigration proposals would cost over five years, Or for the fifteen billion dollar wall between the United States and Mexico with the additional seven hundred million dollars annual maintenance on such an edifice. Why would Donnie Trumpski make such a push for cutting the EPA and education? Because it is the thing that drives the twenty-four hour news cycle. His mouth could power large communities with its ferocious bite. It just keeps churning and churning. Somewhere, in a place where the satellite news never quite reaches, there are people making calm decisions and declarations about what will happen in the next four years. But that's not how Trumplestilskin works. His hair can be seen from space. He won't go quietly.
But I wish he would.