So here's my vision of that hearing room, not so long ago...
Brady: Point of parliamentary procedure!
Belichick: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Brady: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Gronkowski: I thought you were pre-med.
Brady: What's the difference? Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with the inflation of our footballs — we did. [winks at Commissioner Goodell] But you can't hold a whole football team responsible for the behavior of a few, sick perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole National Football League? And if the whole National Football League is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our sports institutions in general? I put it to you, Commissioner Goodell: isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
[Leads the Patriots out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]