Sunday, August 09, 2015

Limited Exposure

Lenny Kravitz broke the Internet. Okay, maybe that's not exactly what happened. First, Mister Kravitz broke a seam on his leather pants, and then the Internet was broken. Not by Mister Kravitz, but rather by the hordes of onlookers rushing forward to click on the links to the wardrobe malfunction that occurred as he squatted down to emphasize his guitar hero credentials. Because there was video. I will pause now, in case you happen to fall into that sliver of a percent of Americans with access to Al Gore's Internet who didn't find some way to gaze upon the result of the sudden release of stress on a seam meant to hold your standard rock star and his nether region in place for the duration of your standard rock show. You will need only three words: Lenny Kravitz pants.
I'll wait here.
Okay, now that you've satisfied your purient interest, I feel the need to point out that what you saw, if you actually did take the time to search out Mister Kravitz's naughty bits, that what you saw was one hundred percent more of Lenny's altogetherness than anyone at the Dinner Key Auditorium saw of Jim Morrison's hidden talent back in 1969. It was also more explicit in its display than Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction at Super Bowl XXXVIII back in 2004, though probably not nearly as intentional. Certainly there is a much longer tradition of women falling out of their carefully considered fashion choices, but we should all consider this a return to the roots, if you'll pardon the pun.
And it's 2015. This is how we deal with things like this now. I am not guessing that authorities in Sweden will bar Lenny Kravitz from entering or exiting the country. He probably won't have to pay any fines or serve any time. The number of people who accessed the video of Lenny is probably on a par, thanks in no small part to my referencing it here, to the audience of Janet Jackson's indiscretion. YouTube will not be asked to pay any half million dollar fines, as CBS was asked to pay eleven years ago for their part in bringing Ms. Jackson up close and personal and straight into your living room. Jim wandered off to France, where he got fat and drunk and died in a bathtub. Or did he?
Maybe Jim Morrison is alive and well and living in Stockholm, where he occasionally drops by the Grona Lund theme park, just to take in a show. And maybe he caught Lenny's act the other day, if you know what I mean. And smiled.

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