Founded On Dumb

Lawyers for accused terrorist Ayoub El Khazzani reported that their client was "dumbfounded" by allegations that he was on a train last weekend to commit an act of terror. The fact that he was armed with a Kalashnikov assault rifle, Luger automatic pistol, nine cartridge clips and a box-cutter wasn't fully addressed by the defense team, but I'm guessing that showing up on any sort of public transportation with a box cutter is sending a pretty clear message. That message, according to Mister El Khazzani, would seem to be, "Hey, there are a lot of boxes that need opening on French trains, and if my box cutter gets lost, I can always use my semi-automatic pistol or my machine gun to get them open." That is, unless he had been more successful in his alleged terrorist attack, in which case some rowdy group of militant-types would have claimed responsibility for the acts of this lone gunman. Instead, he turns out to be just that: A lone gunman. Unfortunately for Ayoub, the three American tourists who chose to act together put a pretty solid hurting on him after he got off just a few shots, wounding just one. Not very terror-filled, sorry. At least we now have an answer to the old riddle: When is a terrorist not a terrorist? Of course, I'm willing to bet that when those three college boys were beating him unconscious with his own rifle, there may have been some terror on board that train, but I expect it was pretty centralized. It could also be that the beating he sustained may have been the cause of any "dumbfoundedness."

Meanwhile back here in the states, down Alabama way, Donald Trump was busy stumping for whatever office it is that he seems to be running for currently: CEO, Fuhrer, terrormeister. While wearing his "Make America Great Again" cap and spouting his newly enhanced vitriol, voices in the crowd were crying out: "White Power!" One of these voices later added to the throng of media which now flocks to each and every Trump utterance, “Hopefully, he’s going to sit there and say, ‘When I become elected president, what we’re going to do is we’re going to make the border a vacation spot, it’s going to cost you twenty-five dollars for a permit, and then you get fifty dollars for every confirmed kill. That’d be one nice thing.” That was Trump fan Jim Sherota, a local on hand to cheer the man and his vision. Cheryl Burns, visiting from California with time on her hands to take in the spectacle had this to add: “There is no more California,” she said. “It’s now international, lawless territory. Everything is up for grabs. Illegal aliens are murdering people there. People are being raped. Trump isn’t lying about anything — the rest of the country just hasn’t found out yet.” I live in California, and I didn't know that. You know how I feel?

Dumbfounded. Terrified.