I Will Survive

Ingenuity. Ingenious. Different from ingenuous. Those first two words might describe the efforts of a San Antonio man who was trapped in a FedEx store for more than two hours last weekend. Chris Galvan went to make some copies shortly before the nine o'clock closing time Saturday night. Perhaps because the staff was anxious to be on their way to their weekend festivities, or perhaps Chris was too tired from all the running about he had been doing earlier in the day as a fitness buff to notice the signs being turned and the lights being turned off or the locks being turned. He was locked in, and no amount of rattling the doors or squawking made the doors fly open.
What did Chris do? He used social media to alert the world to his plight. Besides Instagraming and Tweeting and Kiking his way out, he used his phone to call another FedEx store where an employee was able to get in touch with a management type who could come on down and open the door and let poor, tired Chris out. Two and a half hours later. That kind of thing can really mess with your training regimen, but judging by the videos he posted, this didn't make a difference to Chris. He has the pictures and video to prove it. And so does the rest of the world.
This is where my mind went in a straight line to 127 Hours. You remember the film, starring James Franco about the guy who gets his arm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and he spends six days figuring out the best way to get out of the canyon in which he is stuck is to leave the arm. I remember watching this film, the true story of Aron Ralston's survival, snacking away on my large popcorn and soaking up the majority of the tub of Coca Cola that I was nominally sharing with my wife. Somewhere in the middle of the film, I was struck by the ratio of salty popcorn to cool refreshing soda. I had ordered the largest size Coke before infinity, but I had run dry. And now I sat there, parched, wishing that I had something to drink. James/Aron was up there on the screen, contemplating all kinds of nasty solutions for this challenge, but I couldn't drag myself out of my seat to walk the hundred feet to the snack bar to get my free refill.
Pitiful.
At least I didn't post my travail on the Internet for everyone to read. Until now.