Thursday, May 15, 2014


That acronym used to stand for "personal digital assistant." Who remembers Palm Pilots? We don't have a lot of use for those anymore, or rather they have become so ubiquitous that most of the fourth graders at my school have a smart phone and the idea that they are somehow connected to that antiquated electronic device seems almost ridiculous. More on those smart phones in just a moment.
Another three word combination that matches those initials would be "public display of affection." You know what I mean. The kind of smoochy, lovey-dovey moment that cause passersby to squirm. Some might even call out, "Hey, get a room already." It tends to really annoy those who lack a significant other with whom they too might engage in a little display of affection, whether in public or not. It can make some people more than a little uncomfortable.
That's what happened when Missouri's Michael Sam was drafted by the St. Louis Rams. So overcome with emotion, he leaned down and kissed his sweetheart. Right on the mouth. No big deal, right? That sort of thing happens all the time in collegiate and professional sports. Caught up in the moment, the guy reaches out to his loved ones to share in the moment. If it's a cheerleader or mom, somebody of the opposite sex, it's probably not going to make much of a stir. Michael Sam kissed his boyfriend. And, to paraphrase Katy Perry, he liked. it. The same could not be said of the Miami Dolphins' Don Jones.
Don used his PDA to register his opinion of Sam's PDA. "Horrible," he tweeted. That was enough to get him a fine and excused from team activities until he completes a training in sensitivity that his team hopes will improve his outlook on things. Michael Sam is the first openly gay man to play professional football, and so we can only expect that there will be more PDA, or "public displays of aggression" directed at him and the things that he does over the next several months. This would include the eight thousand or so faceless folks with access to a keyboard who lined up to express their displeasure with Sam and their support of Jones on the comment boards located in and around Al Gore's Internet.
Lots of rage about the First Amendment, and God's Holy Word. That word, according to most posters was "abomination." The fact that it came into the homes of many healthy, hetero football fans via such manly outlets as ESPN and the NFL Network just made it all the more painful. Well, since we know that ESPN is owned by Disney, we know what their agenda is. Where can a guy go that he doesn't have to be subjected to all that queerness? All that fanny slapping and head-butting is one thing, but a kiss on the lips? Forget about it. If you want to affirm your manliness, you're going to have to switch on over to Duck Dynasty. Of course, they suspended Phil Robertson too. Because he was an employee of a television network. Don Jones is an employee of the National Football League. That's how he got in trouble. Free Speech? God's Word? Just more PDA: Panicked Distress Alert. He's here. He's queer. So what?

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